Roll to Seduce Chainsaw
by yourlocalpurpleho
Summary: The main cast of Heathers plays D&D. Shenanigans ensue. Reupload notes: Hi! I took this down at some point because I lost confidence in both my writing and this specific work. Now, I have better skills and am reuploading this edited prologue. Have fun reading it. I sure had fun writing it.


Betty Finn had been waiting in the living room since 6:30 in the evening. Her guests were due to arrive at any minute, but those minutes seem to drag on for hours. Her eyes wandered around the room, gazing over the muted orange wallpaper. Bookshelves full of fantasy and science fiction novels lined the walls, some worn while others were still in perfect condition. She could feel the time pass, and she glanced at the clock.

It was 6:35.

Betty sighed and flopped back on the sofa. Sure, Veronica and the others weren't supposed to be there until 6:40, but her excitement combined with nerves created a nice little emotional concoction that roughly equated to the word "antsy." It was justified though, seeing as not only were Veronica, her boyfriend JD, and Martha coming over, but supposedly the Heathers would be joining them, too. That would be enough to drive any nerd crazy with anxiety, what with their combined reputation for being not only beautiful, but also catty and sometimes just straight-up evil. That last part was an exaggeration, of course, but it kept the social hierarchy of Westerberg High in check. No one messed with the Heathers, and if you did, your social standing would plummet down six feet into the ground. That was Betty's main point of concern. The Heathers, as far as she knew, were not by any stretch of the imagination into what she had planned for this evening. Veronica and Martha, she knew, were up for the hours of adventuring and had prepared in advance. She had never previously interacted with JD, but Veronica said he was willing to try it. Her nerves flared. Having spent a good hour setting up the game room, and a good few days planning out the game, Betty simply hoped it would go smoothly. Well, smoothish.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Betty sprang up and walked over, opening the door to see Veronica, JD, and Martha. The two teenage girls dressed casually, with Veronica wearing a pale blue shirt tucked into some jeans, and Martha dressed in a pink turtleneck sweater and a pair of unicorn pyjama pants. JD stuck to his normal outfit, being flannel, jeans, and a long black trench coat. Betty smiled upon seeing the three. The first batch of guests had arrived.

"Hey Betty!" greeted Veronica, hugging the host for the evening. Veronica let go and entered, taking a seat on the sofa, "The Heathers are a few minutes away. Mac and Duke got caught up dragging the demon queen from her throne." Martha snorted at the nickname, but JD remained stoic. Betty didn't find it funny, considering the accuracy. She moved out of the way of the door, allowing the other two to enter her home. JD walked passed Betty, proceeding to sit next to Veronica. The pink-clad Martha followed behind him inside and stood next to Betty.

"Good to see you Betty! When was the last time we even hung out? Sophomore year?" she asked excitedly. However, she noticed Betty was staring at the young man clinging to Veronica. The two were talking, but fairly quietly. It was clear that JD was only there because Veronica wanted to go. That and he needed more friends, of which Veronica was plenty aware. Martha put on a smile, "He's just a bit antisocial. It took him around two months before he would willingly talk to me without Veronica around. He's making progress, slowly."

"Oh. Will he be okay to play? I mean, this is kind of a social game," Betty inquired.

"He should be. It's not as though he is scared or anxious. He just doesn't seem interested. Since what we'll be doing is fictional, he should be fine," Martha clarified.

Betty nodded, stopping abruptly when the doorbell rang. Behind the door was a hushed argument. Neither Betty nor Martha, both of whom were close to the door, could make out the words. Well, except for one. 'Heather.'

"Guess that's them. The Heathers," Betty spoke nervously. Upon hearing this, Veronica and JD looked to the door, then to each other. This could go either really well, or terribly.

Betty turned around and opened the door, only to see Heather Duke and Heather McNamara gripping Heather Chandler by her shoulders. Chandler clearly did not want

to be there, but it seemed as though, for once, the other two Heathers were taking charge. It wasn't that big of a deal, but it was definitely something Chandler hadn't expected to happen. Saturday nights were for parties, not hanging out with losers who play board games. She thought the other two shared her opinion. Evidently not.

"Where's Veronica? We're here. And who are you?" asked Heather Duke, looking slightly annoyed with Heather Chandler and the fight she put up against them just so they could all go together. Heather McNamara looked passed Betty and noticed Veronica with that weird kid she's always hanging out with. She smiled and waved.

"Veronica's.. behind me. Welcome. I'm Betty, Betty Finn. We go to school together. I'm in your chemistry class," Betty replied, voice growing softer with each stilted sentence. Before moving out of the way, she locked eyes in a soul-crushing stare with Heather Chandler. It felt like a part of her died, or was crushed, rather. Quickly, she moved out of the way of the door and gestured for the three to enter. Heather Duke and McNamara dragged in Heather Chandler, whom was, at this point, seething. The three stood in the center of the living room, almost acting as a centerpiece with how they were stared at. Veronica was surprised to see them as they were. Especially Chandler. She looked defeated, but not in a pitiful way. It was more akin to the type of defeat wherein revenge is plotted soon after, and there would be no survivors. Socially speaking, that is. Noticing this, she decided to avoid prodding the bull that was Heather Chandler. Instead, Veronica turned her attention toward Duke and McNamara. Duke maintained a straight face, but Veronica knew her well enough. She wasn't angry, but rather hiding her feelings about the game they would be playing. McNamara, on the other hand, was more obvious with her excited anticipation of the adventures to come.

Betty shut the door , walked back over to the group, and clasped her hands together.

"I'm sure you all are wondering why we're here-" she started before being interrupted by McNamara.

"What do you mean? Veronica told us," she pointed out, "and Heather knows too."

"I can speak for myself, Heather," Duke corrected. Chandler was fuming at this point. Oh, she knew exactly why she was there. Her two "friends" betrayed her by bringing her to this weirdo's house and forcing her to play some damn game.

"You know," she spoke up, voice calm, "you two idiots dragged me all the way here, but you failed to tell me what game we'd be playing. In fact, if I remember correctly, you two told me that we were, and quote, 'playing a board game with Veronica's friends.'"

Duke could feel her heart drop at this. She looked down at her feet and let go of Chandler's arm. McNamara noticed and tightened her grip on Chandler. Not a chance in hell she was letting Chandler push her out of this. Even if Martha Dumptruck was here, there was still fun to be had. McNamara smiled and squeezed Chandler's arm, as if to tell her to shut her mouth and listen to someone other than herself for once.

"Yes, and we're Veronica's friends. Even if they're nerds, they're Veronica's nerds," McNamara smiled sweetly. Duke looked to her, clearly hurt by Chandler's words, but brought up just slightly by McNamara's. She had always been good to Duke, even if Duke didn't always show it (or return the kindness). Even if she was typically oblivious to the damage dealt by Chandler, it was never her intention to hurt Duke. Through doubts, Duke gave a half-grin her way before looking to Betty, whom at this point was confused as hell.

"Well, Betty, care to explain to Heather what exactly the game is so we can just play it already?" she less-than-politely requested. Her facade was back up and as long as she made it through the night, she would be okay. Betty cleared her throat.

"Well, for those of you who aren't aware of this game or how to play, I suggest you follow me," with that, she began to walk out of the room, with Veronica, JD, and Martha following behind. The Heathers all looked at each other before following.

"Now, the game we will be playing is a favorite of mine. Dungeons and Dragons is a game based around interacting with the fantastic world surrounding your character, whom can be any combination of class, species, and background. I will be the Dungeon Master, or DM, or the game. This means that I am, to put it bluntly, the god of the world you all will be playing in," Betty turned a corner, opening the door to the game room. Inside was a pool table, a couple of small tables for playing cards, and one large table in the center of the room with seven chairs at it. As the group entered, they noticed that the table had different sheets of paper at each seat, along with a set of dice (each a different color so they wouldn't get mixed up). The seven sat down. Veronica, JD, and Martha sat on one side, the Heathers sat on the other, and Betty sat at the end. Chandler stared at her character sheet, not sure what a majority of it meant.

"Hey, loser, what does this mean?" Chandler asked, gesturing her finger all over the page. Her anger had settled into annoyed confusion, and this slightly amused both Duke and Betty.

"You'll have to be more specific, Heather. There's the stats, shown on the far left in a column. The skills and saving throws will come later, but right now I need you all to make your characters. The manual for doing so is in front of you. If you get confused, you can ask either myself or Veronica for help. She already made her character, so f you need some inspiration, she's your gal," Betty explained. After saying this, the five without a character got to work. Veronica helped JD create his, and Martha had played before, but didn't have the chance to create a new character. The Heathers all read the manual until they each settled on a species, a class, and an alignment. Chandler rolled for stats as the manual instructed, with McNamara and Duke following suit.

The group worked on their characters until they were basically complete. An hour had passed, and while some had an inkling of a past, others were stuck with what was on their paper. Chandler, Martha, and McNamara were thinking of a backstory, while JD and Duke had started to flesh out their characters.

The time was 8:13, and their characters were done. Not all had the eloquently written backstory Betty had hoped, but most of the players were first-timers, so it wasn't that big of an issue. It was time for a role call. Betty cleared her throat and stood up.

"Alright, role call starting from Heather McNamara. Go," she announced.

"Oh, um, okay! My character is Himna Mistleway. She is a Lawful Neutral gnome fighter. Wait- she doesn't fight gnomes! She is a gnome of the class Fighter," McNamara declared excitedly with a large grin on her face.

"Lovely enthusiasm, but we need to go quicker than that. List it like bullet points, alright?" she requested of the whole group. McNamara nodded and looked to Chandler next to her.

"Guess it's my turn. My character is Heather Chandry-" this was met by a snicker from Betty.

"It has been ninety minutes and the best name you could come up with is your name with a different ending?" Betty interjected. This was met with a glare from Chandler.

"You're lucky I'm here at all, lameass. Now shut up and let me finish," she pointed out.

"Duly noted. Continue."

"As I was saying, Heather Chandry is a lawful evil half-elf warlock," Chandler finished, "Next?" Duke sat up in her chair and cracked a grin at the accomplishment that was her character.

"Hindrith Drirthul. True Neutral. Rogue. Ready to raise hell," she stated in the bullet-point fashion Betty requested.

"My turn! Um, Minerva Dynel is an elven bard of a lawful good morality. You're turn, Veronica," spoke Martha, clearly in a more comfortable state of mind now that they've started setup. Veronica nodded and picked up her sheet to read off of it.

"Her name is Vivien Smythe, a human wizard seeking meaning in knowledge. However, she soon realized that the world was a better teacher, in all its beautiful and cruel glory-" Betty cut her off.

"Alignment?" she asked, trying to get her to hurry up.

"Oh, neutral good," she finished, placing her paper down. Her hand fell to JD's as a form of encouragement, not that he really needed it. He just liked it.

"Jacobi Desten is a chaotic neutral paladin who is a tiefling. He worships the Traveler, a deity of Chaos and Change. His favored weapon is his warhammer, but he is also partial to his hand-held crossbow for ranged attacks," he stated before looking to Veronica. She smiled at him before looking to Betty.

Betty thought for a moment, running the characters through her head again and recording them into her memory. With this, she grinned, clearly excited for what adventures they will have as a group.

"Sounds interesting, you guys! Let's meet up next week to start the-"

"Wait a second, loser. Are you telling me I have to come back next week?! To start this stupid game that you idiots," she glares at the other two Heathers, "dragged me to play?!" she huffs and storms out. Duke is frozen in her seat, and is helped up by McNamara. She starts to walk out before turning and waving goodbye to everyone. Betty sighs as she leaves with the remaining Heather.

"Do you think they'll be back, 'Roni?" she asks.

"Well, there's only one way to find out," Veronica responds.

Time passes after the Heathers left, and soon enough JD, Martha, and Veronica are off as well. Betty stands in the door frame leading into her home as they leave, and enters, shutting the door behind her. She looks back at the shelves and approaches. Picking a book at random, she sits upon the couch she had once waited on and cracks it open. As she reads, she contemplates the social consequences of what happened tonight.

"... Only one way to find out…" she repeats.


End file.
